Having children makes our family complete. But, what should we do if our kids have conflicts? Obviously, we will act as their referees. Having this sibling dynamic makes the tasks of the parents more challenging than ever.
When my kids often quarrel over simple things, I make sure to resolve these concerns immediately. If not, chances are conflict will become even bigger and bigger as time passes by.
Here are some of the common strategies I adopt to help siblings resolve their conflicts at home:
- Explain the Process – Kids have to know the house rules. It means, as parents, we must set rules such as no insults, no interrupting, no shouting, no abusive words, and the like. As a parent, I make sure to print all these house rules and post them in the visible area. Kids must be cautious with their actions and should always show respect to one another.
- Teach My Kids to Handle Conflicts – Kids are obviously naughty and fun-going. If they have conflicts with their siblings, I make sure to talk to them in a subtle way. I always teach them how to handle conflicts. Having conflicts with other people, especially siblings, may seem natural as we don’t have similar opinions, believes, and ideals in life. But, it is important to inculcate in their minds that showing respect to the decisions of other people is a must. Through teaching children how to prevent conflicts, everything will be fine.
- Family is a Team – It is crucial to remind our children about the goodness of having a family. Just like me, I always explain to my kids that we are a team. Each of us is important and has an important role to function. We should act as one to have a loving and peaceful home. Fights among siblings or any family members can ruin the whole team.
- Step In – Some parents thought that their kids could handle sibling conflicts on their own. Now, this idea is not true to all. There are some kids that need to be guided. If not, conflicts might become a nightmare. In my family, I always take time to talk to them. I simply sit down together with the involved persons and talk about what happened. I also don’t make an instant decision, especially when I am mad. I make sure to weigh the situation before giving a final word.
- Listening is the Key – Listening to both parties is a must. The best way to help siblings resolve their conflicts is for them to know their feelings about the situation. Listen to them carefully and don’t judge them. Let our kids feel like they are free to show off their emotions to resolve the conflicts.
- Make Kids Understand Why Conflicts Happen – Kids should know why they have conflicts with one another. They should also be aware of the things they need to do to solve these conflicts. As a parent, I make them realize their faults and seek forgiveness to one another.
- Ask My Kids to Suggest Possible Solutions – The best way to help siblings resolve their conflicts is to ask them what to do to have a harmonious relationship at home. They may cite some rules or solutions to ensure that this conflict will never happen again.
- Show a Good Problem-Solving Behavior – My kids always watch the way I solve conflicts at home. As a parent, I make sure to stay calm even if the situation is quite alarming. I also show them how to solve conflicts in a rightful and effective way. Instead of nagging each other, talking and resolving stuff must be done.
Helping siblings resolve conflicts can never be done in a fast and easy way. It requires enough time and patience since some kids have tough behaviors. There are some cases of that conflicts may last for several weeks or months, especially when we have adult children.
Remember that the key to solving conflicts at home relies on how each member of the family behaves. If they are willing to accept their faults and show forgiveness, everything will turn out to be fine. This is why family values like respect, love, and forgiveness must be taught to our kids.