What Makes Good Choices Possible
It can be very frustrating when a child or teenager is not making good choices. What is the best choice? Most parents would like to say that what the parents want their children to choose is always the best. They don’t see good choices possible.
I have found that, when I focus on what is possible rather than what is best, good choices are possible.
Is good choice possible for your child?
The answer is yes. Good choices are always possible. There are many choices that can be made. Good choices include:
Parents can encourage good choices rather than focus on good choices. When in doubt of what to do, the best action is always to learn.
Making Choices Talk less – It is difficult for a child to listen to a parent when they are attempting to ask you a question. They failed the test. Make choices more effective, by dialoging with your child. Do not be so busy that you are distracted. Don’t be afraid to let your child be able to do things such as: make up the story and ask questions. If you are worried about what someone might think you want to do or what you are thinking to do, talk. Be open and talk to your child.
Developing Confidence – Many times children do not feel confident in their abilities to make choices. A child often does not feel good enough to do many of the choices they are willing to try. When a child feels confident in their ability to choose, enjoying the choices they make, they will feel good about themselves.
Giving Choices – When an adult asks a child a choice, does the child feel the adult that they are asking, “Hey, give me a break?” Or do they feel “No way.”? A child’s confidence will very much depend on the answer. Some children will feel like they should not do a particular choice because the adult is not looking their way. If there is concern about the adult, who will be with the child and what will happen next, it is important to run it through the mind of the child and see what kind of answers they have. The less a child feels their opinion is not important, the more they will feel they are a part of the decision.
Setting and finishing a goal – When is the goal you are trying to set? A goal can be a specific time when a child will do a certain kind of task. It can be something some kids fret over. For example, a child could do a spilled something on the floor and say “I messed it up last night,” in which they dohave control, young children(ages 3-7) usually do this. There are also others who do a specific task in order to make their parents happy or to get extra stuff. The goal for young children is to reflect an adult’s act or quality, to give them another chance to do the same again. For teenagers, this may mean changing a plate with the food at a restaurant or cheerios in another Ziploc bag so the next child who eats their lunch will not have their plate dirty in the lunchroom.
What is a goal for an adult in which the adults are remembered? Well, a goal is not only a long term goal but is also a short term goal. A goal for a 3-7 year old is to have them tell the best about themselves to their best friend. Read a story, sing a song or create a collage that would be remembered.
Intentional behaviour – Be consistent with your behaviour. S suggestive language can guide children as if they are on stage. They will make their own funny faces, walk on the stage or be on the stage with all their friends. They’ll get a confidence boost that parents have enjoyed through their behaviour.